Monday, 31 March 2014

Apology Monday

I have to start with an apology. One of my lovely readers emailed me to point out that a comment I made yesterday could be considered offensive. I would like to say sorry to any American readers who were annoyed or offended by my post.

**edited to add: I do understand, and there was further reasoning, why this caused offense. I am happy it was pointed out and would rather write this post to make my point clearer than to have confusion. If you weren't offended then I'm glad but this is for those who were or might have been. Everyone has an opinion and all are valid.

To clarify I have to state that neither me or my Nan are Anti-American. For me the complete opposite would be true; I've spent most of my life wishing I lived there, after living in CO when I was younger and family living in beautiful CA. I wasn't trying to debate the meaning / religious heritage / cultural meaning of Mother's Day or Mothering Sunday either, just reminding myself of the fact that my Nan prefers the later term. She dislikes the change in our style of speaking, in part influenced by the American language (which is what I meant by Americanism) but also no doubt many other factors of our globalised world, the internet and technology included. For a 96 year old she is incredibly open minded (and seriously smart, she did a politics degree in her 60s) but she can be very particular about linguistics. I am not making excuses, I hope that all makes sense and I'm very sorry if I unintentionally offended you.


Regardless of where we live, what language we speak, our religion or traditions I know we can all agree how special Mothers are and they deserve to be celebrated. Yesterday Joan gave me this lovely card:


I do carry my heart around and it hurts to think I've upset anyone. Love to you all.

(just in case you were wondering, that pink bit is my skirt!!)

30 comments:

  1. Totally did not take offense, and enjoy hearing about the traditions of others!

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  2. We have a similar love of American culture here in Canada, but also unease about just how much it influences us too. There's a difference between taking a stand on what defines your culture, which I think is what your nan was doing, and denigrating another. I think most of us understood what your nan intended. :)

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  3. I took no offense at all in what you said in your post yesterday. I think there's a risk in offending someone with any words that come out of our mouths or fingertips. We can't please all. Stay true to yourself and don't beat yourself up. :)

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  4. I can't believe anyone would be offended by that. And I am the most risk-adverse, PC person I know.

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    1. There was more involved and I do understand the person's response to it so I just wanted to clear the air and be straightforward about what I meant. I believe it was partly my fault in the way I expressed the story but I would never devalue someone's feelings and at times we can all be sensitive about things people say. Though I am not always PC, nor am I prejudice.

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  5. You do know it's Monday, right? :)

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  6. When I read your post, I immediately researched the day and wished I had not missed it. I LOVE this holiday and plan to include it next year by making my own cards. I tend to send Mother's Day cards to the elder Aunties in my life who really did mother me when I was younger. I am most grateful for your post and took no offense in it at all.

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  7. Thanks for clarifying about the skirt. ;)

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  8. One of my favorite things about the online community is learning interesting tidbits like that. I don't think it's offensive but it's sweet of you to apologize. :) Funny about the skirt too :)

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  9. Cute card. I didn't see it as offensive, just traditional. Happy Monday. xx

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  10. Ooh, nice skirt! ;) It's a little sheer though....

    I did not take offense. I sometimes think people are a bit too sensitive. But to each their own!

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  11. People take offence to the funniest thing sometimes, I have one reader who tells me often how much she hates geometric quilts...what gives?
    Dont worry x

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  12. Lucy you are absolutely charming and delightful with a seriously infectious laugh I couldn't possibly take offense at anything you say! Try harder!

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  13. You are just too sweet! And thanks for clarifying about the skirt... Was wondering what was goingg on there! :-)

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  14. Do you think if I just leave a comment saying 'HAHAHAHAHA pur-leeze!!!!' anyone will be offended?

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  15. Okay, I was going to say something nice but I'm laughing to hard at Hadley's comment and totally lost my chain of thought.

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  16. I agree with what Hadley said.... In Australia we are being Americanised! They should be flattered! Isn't that what imitation is all about! Please....

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  17. No offence taken! I loved your post and could see what your nan was saying. Keep on doing what you do!

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  18. No offense taken. . . . hadn't even thought that I was supposed to be offended! I just took it as a difference in speech patterns. . . . much like in the UK it is the Toilet, but here in the US it is the Rest Room.

    Years ago when my mother & I visited London we tried to adopt the "local" wording as a form of respect for the country that was allowing us to visit. After all, isn't that all part of being courteous? Just as when we visited Italy I tried to speak Italian (probably did a terrible job of it, but I tried!).

    You did not do anything wrong.

    Have a wonderful day!

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  19. That's very diplomatic and kind of you to address this. I wasn't offended at all by your post. I think if anything I was just reminded of instances while traveling where I felt the weight of answering for my own culture due to some wider social issue or national diplomatic failing. I think it's just hard to be inundated with so many less-than-positive feelings about the culture and country you come from (whether warranted or not) without feeling a little extra sensitive. I found your post really interesting though. I didn't know about the difference between Mothering Day and Mother's Day, I only knew we celebrated on different days. :)

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  20. Glad you verified the pink bit ;o) And hugs on the rest!

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  21. Really? Someone could be offended by that? Now, telling me "you did a crap job on that binding" is offensive! Pointing out that "Mothering Day" is correct in England is NOT offensive!

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  22. Nice blog and I love your card - I have seen enough handmade cards from my kids over the years to know, quite obviously, that that pink bit is your skirt! Lol. So sweet! xCathy

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  23. I think your Nan sounds exceptional and how lucky you are able to given her cards still, no matter what they say. In Canada it is Mother's Day too, maybe you were using a Canadianism instead?

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  24. I have learned SO much just from following other quilters that live in the UK and in AU. I could see why your Nan might have thought to say something about the correct expression. In the US, our "mother's day" isn't til the first? or sec? Sunday in May. It sounds similar but may be different based on history or why it first began.

    AND I just want to add something that I used to get really frustrated with. In the US we don't use "learnt" or use that "t" ending for past tense. We use "learned". I used to get into arguments whenever I got this wrong in grammar. I read SO MUCH when I was young, and obviously I must have been reading British (or any other country that uses this) books!! I used to get really mad because I couldn't prove it, but knew that I was right in some regard. I finally noticed this last week on a blog in the UK!! So I was correct, just in the wrong country. I also noticed that you spell things with an "s" instead of a Z. Of course I can't find an example now. But I think it's really cool that we do many things the same, but have a few celebrations that might not be commonly known about. I know that Boxing Day is big in Canada, but I have no idea what it's about. I assume it's a big sporting event or a big shopping day.

    I'm glad Nan got miffed :) She is obviously old school, and unless you don't say something, then the meaning changes over time. I think that's cool that she said something. I don't think she did it to be offensive, she probably just meant to keep things the same or let you know her true feelings about it. (This is where my proper speaking assumption comes in at)

    Especially during the hey day of the Beatles, but i think American girls (generally) think that British guys have hot accents. At least I think they do. It's so hard for an American to do a good British accent, but the guy from House and the Harry Potter girl-Emma Stone make it look super easy to have an American accent. I wonder what the American accent sounds like from across the sea. British people sound like they have this proper accent and grammar, and Australians have a similar sound but with a twang to it.

    There used to be a stereotype that British people have bad teeth, but whenever I see something that is British on tv, I don't see it. A lot of Americans have gotten braces in the last 40 years, and it's probably the same over there now. Other than that, I don't know any other "stereotypes" about the British. I'm sure we look like a materialistic boasting country. The boasting part comes from the 1950s I feel like, after we won WW2. Most Americans really hate war and get irritated that we seem to have to get involved in everything. I feel like corporate America has gotten really greedy, and for the most part doesn't represent most people. Most people don't live in mansions or have several cars.

    So, is the United Kingdom bigger than Britain or just another name for the country? Like US to America? We usually say US and answer "the united states of america" when a website asks what country you are from. I don't remember learning anything about Britain in school since WW2. Anything we learned had to do with the revolutionary war. I could be saying British and meaning to say UK because I have no idea that I'm not supposed to do that!

    -=karrie

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  25. As a first-gen Canadian born to Irish immigrant parents, am now living in the USA with American-born children, (are you following me? :D) I didn't personally think twice about your post other than how sweet
    a) your Nan sounds
    b) YOU sound
    ;)
    You know how much I luvs ya xoxox

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  26. Happy Mother's Day, Happy Mothering Day! How lucky we are to live in a time when we can recognize each other and celebrate our similarities and rejoice in our differences! Give your Nan an extra kiss. I saw one of my Nans once and the other only 6 times. I miss them so much.

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  27. good lord what did you put!!? I am just catching up .. so will be going for a look see! It is your blog and you are "allowed" to write what you want ! If folks are sooo sensitive that they feel offended the maybe they are reading the wrong blog x .. off to check it out xx

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